When people are in difficult relationships, they consider how to change the other person. They imagine there’s something wrong with them that needs fixing. Rarely do they go within and shift their perspective. Their outlook is often built from resentment, blame, and hurt gathered from painful interactions. Moving ahead is hard because each negative encounter continues into the next. When you choose to alter how you see others, though, your conversations with them change. Your positivity can transform your relationship.
Go within to shift your perspective
Find somewhere quiet and comfortable to go within. Take deep slow breaths. Hold the intention to meet the person you want to get along with better in your imagination. Know communicating with them in a non-judgmental way, and having them behave likewise, will best serve you. Picture a beautiful haven, and see the individual coming toward you, smiling.
Smile back and greet each other warmly before sitting under a tree and allowing the person to empty their heart. Let them explain how they feel from their perspective without commenting. Listen with compassion, understanding they might have a wrong perception about you, but you can explain this later.
When they’ve finished speaking, take your turn and unload your heart. Tell the person how you feel from your perspective. Have them listen with compassion and without interrupting. When you finish, allow them to say if you have wrong ideas and vice-versa. End the meeting with a hug and loving words.
Why the exercise is transformational
Going within for a convivial meeting with people you find difficult lets you talk in a safe environment and be heard. Listening compassionately, even in your imagination, can provide insight and help you see another’s point of view. The result is that painful emotions soften, making room for understanding. Practice several times and your meetings in real life will improve. You’ll drop the pain that usually makes communication negative.
The exercise will transform how you feel and interact, which in turn will have a positive impact on your relationship. You may have a breakthrough and find you can converse constructively. Even if you don’t see a huge change on the outside, there will be one within. When your feelings and perspective change for the better, you’ll cope well. You’ll find communication with the individual less painful and tiring, which in itself, is worth the effort.
You can’t change how you feel by attempting to alter people. Your emotions live inside you, which is where transformation can take place. If you want to mend a difficult relationship, first go within. Alter your perspective, and you will behave differently. Others will respond to the helpful energy you bring to communication, and you will be happier.
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